Ode to an Unfulfilled Life

Mist in Queensbury churchyard 31.10.2010, originally uploaded by Tim Green aka atoach.

Today I made a woeful discovery. My youngest half-brother had died 4 months ago.

I had not been told, but that is another, much longer story.

It all came about after searching for childhood friends on the internet. On a whim, I searched for the estranged siblings name. Lo and behold, there was the obituary.

Reading the obituary brought back a flood of memories from my dark childhood days and beyond, although I had a amicable relationship with him. I am quite saddened by his death, especially since I do not believe he lived the life he wanted to live and seemed to be mostly sad and unhappy.

I gathered that he may have died all alone, with no one around. His wife of many years had left him and the children had moved away. He had abandoned his dreams fairly early in life and I believe he lived an unfulfilled life of unhappiness and regret.

I lament all these things in my heart and although I have so many questions, I will most likely never receive the answers. The only answers I will ever know are the ones I can ask myself. Am I living a fulfilled life?

A sense of loss and sadness fills my heart. May he rest in peace.